Here's some jokes and stories to brighten your day...

There was a group of Aggie science students that wanted to take a trip to the sun, but some UT students said that was impossible and that they would burn up along the way before they reached the sun.
The Aggies replied, "We're going to travel at night!"

An Aggie decides to raise chickens. So, he goes to the feed store and buys some chicks. He takes the chicks home, and plants them with their heads sticking up. He waters them, but they die. He goes back to the feed store and tells the proprietor that he bought defective chicks, and gets another set. This time he plants them with their heads sticking down. He waters them, but they die. He then sends a letter to his Alma Mater, describing the problem. They send a letter back asking for a soil sample.

Did you hear about the Aggie that drove his pickup into the lake?
His dog drowned while he tried to get the tailgate down.

Why don't Aggies eat barbecue beans?
Because they keep falling through the holes in the grill.

Ice is no longer available in the drinks at the cafeterias at A&M. The senior who knew the recipe graduated.

Two Aggie builders were working on a house. One Aggie was on a ladder nailing. He'd reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail, look at it, and either toss it over his shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.
The other Aggie couldn't stand it any longer and yells up, "Why are you throwing some of the nails away?" The first Aggie explained, "When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if it's pointed toward me I throw it away. If it's pointed toward the house, then I can use it!" The second Aggie got real excited and called him all kinds of names, explaining, "Don't throw away those nails that are pointed toward you! They're for the other side of the house!!"

Two Aggie hunters from College Station, got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six.

As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose.

The two Aggies objected strongly.

"Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours." Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.

However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down a few moments after take-off.

Climbing out of the wreck one Aggie asked the other, "Any idea where we are?"

"Yeah, I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

An Aggie ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

all in a day's work.....


The Hebert's were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was
to arrive, Mr. Hebert kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should
be here soon". Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.



"Good morning madam. I've come to...."


"Oh, no need to explain. Come in," Mrs. Hebert cut in.


"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! My specialty is babies."


"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"


Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the
living room floor is fun too. You can really spread out!"


Wife - "Bathtub, couch, bed, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
for my husband and me."


Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every
time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or
seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."


Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of...."


Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd
love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with
that, I'm sure."


Wife (muttering)- "Don't I know it."


The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."

Wife - "Oh my god!"


Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you
consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

Wife - "She was difficult?"

Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park
to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five
deep, pushing to get a good look."


Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes wide in amazement).

Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too. The mother was
constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then
darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."


Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually chewed on
your....equipment?"


Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up
my tripod so that we can get to work"

Wife - "Tripod?"

Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's
much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam? Good Lord, she's
fainted!"